


The Alternate

by Viridian5



Category: Weiss Kreuz
Genre: Crack Fic, Crashers - Freeform, Episode Related, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-21
Updated: 2005-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ran is found out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Alternate

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilery bits for the last episodes of _Glühen_. Knight has auburn hair there, for some reason, thus all the bits in here about him being a redhead.
> 
> I blame Juls! She posted [this Livejournal entry](http://www.livejournal.com/users/jmtorres/645163.html) and my fic ensued.

"Ran!" unfamiliar voices suddenly yelled. Unfamiliar to Yoji at least. From the look of annoyance and sudden and unusual fear on Aya's face, Aya knew them.

Aya's soft "Oh, shit" suggested that as well. In another moment a group of six people tackled him.

"This is where you've been!" a young blond said.

"We missed you," the single woman in the group said.

"I like the braid, Ran," an intense, auburn-haired man said.

"Don't call me that," Aya protested as he tried to struggle out of their grip.

Yoji, Ken, and Sena stared at them, because how the hell had these people found them and known to come downstairs to their supposedly secret mission planning area? "Who are these people?" Ken asked.

"Crashers," Aya gasped.

From what Yoji could see, the name was really appropriate.

"No wonder you don't worry about them killing you for disobeying Persia."

"Get Sena out of here."

"Huh?"

That was when Yoji noticed that Crashers had started to gleefully molest Aya, who struggled but didn't struggle too hard. Ken finally noticed too because he turned red, put one hand over Sena's eyes, grabbed the kid, and dragged him out of there at top speed. This also got Ken out of the room, and he didn't return.

"Yoji, help or leave!" Aya gasped.

"When you put it that way...." Yoji answered, suddenly feeling much less depressed. "Hey, is there room for one more?"

"Yes. You're cute," the woman answered.

"Oh, shit," Aya murmured.

  


* * *

"We're so glad we found you," one of the guys said.

"Weiß is obviously not giving you the care you deserve," the intense auburn-haired guy who seemed most interested in Aya said.

"Hey!" Yoji protested as he lit up a celebratory, post-coital cigarette.

"You've obviously never had him before, so don't protest."

"Ohhhh."

Lying on the couch, Aya flopped his arm over his eyes since he didn't appear to have the strength left to do much else. Crashers and Yoji had pretty effectively sucked and fucked him into an exhausted and nearly liquid state. Not that Aya had complained once the preliminaries had relaxed him. Redhead guy solicitously put a blanket over his nude body, ending the free show.

"We'll find a way to follow our orders yet avoid killing you," the woman said.

"Say what?" Yoji asked, but they all left after each giving Aya a kiss. "Hey, Aya!"

Aya was out cold. And cute that way.

  


* * *

"All right, what the hell was that?" Ken asked much later after Aya had slept a while and Yoji had gotten him up, dressed, and fed. The Aya care process had been fun, especially since the Aya glare hadn't fully recharged yet, leaving him mellow and kind of pathetic. Yoji's mood had lifted immeasurably.

Aya stood. Given what he'd been through, sitting probably wouldn't be comfortable. "I told you. They were Crashers."

"So?"

Aya sighed. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"They found us and... attacked you. We have to know!"

They'd kept Sena out of the room for this. The kid might dress like a gigolo, but he was too young for this conversation.

"We won't stop badgering you until we get information," Yoji said.

Aya huffed in irritation, then said, "Before coming to Weiß I was temporarily placed with Crashers while a member of theirs recovered from injuries. I assumed wrongly that he'd been injured in the line of duty."

Yoji coughed and hoped this story was going where he thought it was going.

"They liked me. They _really_ liked me. I started out in a mission outfit that covered me decently. By the end I had zip-down sleeves that bared my shoulders, holes in various places, and straps to help hold everything up and on and slow Crashers down. By the end Kritiker was asking me to put more straps on. I remember that conversation...."

  


* * *

_Aya's flashback_

The shadowy figures on the screen said, "Crashers' effectiveness has decreased since your induction."

"You didn't tell me they were a bunch of perverts and maniacs," Ran said.

"It didn't look like you were struggling much on the camera footage."

"...what?"

"Remember, you signed away all rights when you joined our organization. We can use the tapes as we see fit."

Ran's head hurt. So many people needed to die that he'd have to live to be a hundred to get them all. He supposed that he could see it as a goal.

Fine. He enjoyed some of the sex and attention. It... felt good. But Crashers went overboard. And they did it all with such good cheer, which made it worse.

"We may have erred in placing such an attractive person on the team," one of them said.

"I look like a sextoy now. Anything I wear gets torn at."

"Have you thought of adding more straps to slow them down? We did like your idea of telling them that they wouldn't get you out of everything in time before the mission so they should do you afterwards. It's improved their performance."

"How many more straps can I possibly put on?" He had them around his hips, his arms, his legs.... Then he had an idea. "I could find a way, but how will you compensate me for that?"

"Compensate? Don't be ridiculous."

"At least whores get paid for it. Remember that the effectiveness of this team is at stake. Put a few hundred thousand yen more onto my sister's care budget, and I'll... package myself better to make me more tamper resistant. Or I could take all the straps off."

"You wouldn't. You already think their attentions are excessive."

Ran put a sick smile on his face. "They get me eventually anyway. Might as well get it over with."

"Fine!"

Score!

  


* * *

Aya was almost smiling. Yoji said, "Earth to Aya. Hey."

Aya shook his head. "Eventually the member I replaced was due to return. I thought that would be the end to it, but then I heard Queen and Knight plotting to keep both of us. The thought of yet another person molesting me on a daily basis--"

"_Daily_?" Ken murmured, his eyes wide.

"--pushed me past the point of tolerance. I did something that got me off the team."

"They didn't rape you, did they?"

"No. Not quite. They're just really overwhelming and too much."

"You couldn't say no?"

Aya glared.

"It's hard to believe," Ken said. "I mean, you're so cold and hands' off."

"I wasn't always. It's just that my time in Crashers overdosed me on sex."

"For _years_?" Yoji asked.

"Yes."

"Does a person have to be inducted into Crashers or can he volunteer?"

Aya sighed. "Now that they know where I am, I really need to fake my own death again."

  


* * *

Mamoru looked at Weiß, his team, and felt angry at his grandfather's interference and mercenary ways. Weiß would get justice for Eszett's victims and would "die" in the process to save them from Grandfather's vengeance.

Aya in particular needed to fake his own death. Not only did Eszett know his name, but Knight had barged into Mamoru's office wanting to know why Weiß wasn't treating Ran right and asking for Ran to be transferred back to Crashers.

  


* * *

Feigning amnesia even after he started to remember everything had been the best move Yoji could have made. Kudou Yoji was officially dead in the explosion, and he had a new identity. That nurse had been sweet and cute, but he did not need another Asuka in his life. Besides, he had plans.

Having formerly been a detective, he didn't need to do that much work to find Crashers. They'd left Kritiker and gone renegade over Grandfather and Mamoru Takatori's order for Weiß's disappearance and death. Being fairly intelligent people as well as sex fiends, they saw him coming and realized that Aya was still alive. Being helpful, Yoji told his new team where to find their old team member.

They were good for Aya. Aya just didn't realize it yet.

  


* * *

Aya walked the New York streets alone, the way it should be. He was a killer, unworthy of company. Unworthy of life.

"Ran!" some familiar voices shouted.

Oh, shit.

 

### End

 

And, because the sight of it never ceases to amuse me, [Ran's Crashers mission uniform](http://viridian.shriftweb.org/rancostume-crashers.jpg). 'Cause... bwah!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Alternate (missing scenes)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/85516) by [jmtorres](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmtorres/pseuds/jmtorres)




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